How Did You Know?

How did I know I was having a pulmonary embolism? Well, it wasn't like I was feeling under the weather and decided to take a stroll on over to the ER just to check it out. I couldn't breath. Someone had shut off the air. My left lung had dropped off line. There was no debate. There was no, "maybe we should wait and see," or "Are you sure you need to go to the hospital?" It was more, "try to get her to the car before she passes out again," and "We can't wait for an ambulance."

I find it odd that people think I would go to the hospital without it being absolutely necessary.

I knew I was having a pulmonary embolism because I couldn't breath. I knew I was having a pulmonary embolism because my heart was on the edge of failing because I had lost all function in my left lung and it was struggling to keep me oxygenated. I knew because I was turning blue. I knew because I kept passing out and waking up on the ground in a new place. I knew because I was dying.

I don't know how people can smoke. After loosing that much lung function I would pay $6 a pack to never feel that way again. What is wrong with air that you would want to deny yourself any?

I went up the stairs to go to bed, I've done it a thousand times before. I reached the top of the stair and immediately got dizzy. I stumbled to bed with the thought in my head that I would lay down and catch my breath. I startled awake when I couldn't breath, face down on the bed, not sure when I laid down. I was not ok, I needed help. I got out of bed. The light was still end, I hadn't changed for bed, I was not alright. There was no air. I tried to go for the door and the world shut off again. I remember seeing the floor come up under me before it went dark again. Dreams, unrecognizable dreams. Loud dreams. Awake again. Maybe? Yes, awake again. Less air. Struggle out of sweatshirt. Shout help, no reply, shout more. Watch dad walk by, shout for help, he doesn't react. Kick the wall. He can't hear me. Am I awake? Pull towards the stairs. Sit up, no air.

Help me, help me, help me.

Mom looks up the stairs at me and grows pale. She hurries up. Help me, Help me. She screams for my father. He doesn't wake easily. I slide step by step down the stairs. I can't breath. I don't know what's wrong. I lay on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. Someone helps me with my shoes. My chest hurts now. My breath is fast and labored. I can't slow my heart. I can't slow my breath. They lift me up and we struggle towards the car.

Loud dreams. Flashes of colors. I wake up on the ground. I see my fathers face looking down at me. He is high above me. The sky is purple behind him. My mom is getting ready to call an ambulance. The phone is in her hand. I try to reassure them. I don't remember being scared. I am lifted off the ground and we make it to the car. We speed to the hospital. I remember being concerned about how reckless my father's driving seemed. But I understood he was scared. I was dying. I knew that.

We drove past the emergency entrance twice. They started yelling at each other. This isn't the time. Mom runs in for a wheel chair. They wheel me in and everyone looks concerned. I can't breath. There is no air. There is no stopping, there was no check in, I was wheeled straight in. I thought that was odd, but I wasn't going to argue. I couldn't even if I wanted to. I am put on a stretcher. The doctor asks me questions. My health, my allergies, when, where, how? Mask over my face. Still so hard to breath. CT scan. Don't breath. Sit up. Ambulance. Richard and Andy in the back. We're rolling. Jeez Andy. Mask won't stay on. The ambulance goes fast. Watch things disappear in the flashing lights. Highway ramp was closed, I knew that. We have to go around. Ambulance is flying. Overdose rolling in at the same time. We aren't waiting.

Roll into the ER. Ambulance waits with me. I have their crash gear attached to me. Can't stop my heart from racing, breathing is still labored. I am covered in people doing a number of things. IV's going in, vitals being felt up, reassurances given. Concerned looks all over. Heart rate is up, blood pressure up, oxygenation low. Bad situation. It calms. The people leave. I vomit... EVERYWHERE. Start to feel better. Oxygenation starts to improve. Blood pressure normalizes. Heart rate still high.

Wheeled to IR. Have intravenous catheters put in to attack the clot in my lungs. I am awake through the procedure, more or less. They let me sleep if I can. I must hold my breath when asked. I am uncomfortable, and am wrapped like a mummy. I am sent to ICU to recoup. Allison takes care of me. Then Jennifer. Then Allison. Then Jennifer. They are so good to me. Catheters out. Stable. Can finally sit up. Feeling normal. Taken to Telemetry. Unpleasant room mate. She's scared and angry. No one listens to her concerns. No one understands. I sleep. I wake. I am recovered much faster than I thought. I am sent home.

I'm luck to be alive. I am lucky to be alive. I am so lucky to be alive.

Disney's Animal Kingdom

 Spent the morning at animal kingdom on the second day at Disney. We did not end up doing the Wilderness Explorers, but that was alright.

Finally braved the Dinosaur ride. I may have had my eyes closed all the way through, but at least I did it and now my 20 years of shame can end.

   

 Got to see a lot of animals on the safari, didn't get a picture of the giraffe that came right up to the truck unfortunately.

Simba!

I'm a bat person, I loved the giant flying foxes.

The tiger was going crazy. up the hill, own the hill, over, around. All over. 

 

Baby gibbon swinging with the big guys 

Why do people throw their hair ties at the top of the Everest Exhibition? The top just before you start rolling back was just covered in hair ties. Didn't realize that was a thing, even with all the research I did. 

We had a good time, met characters, tried African food, rode the rides, saw the shows, walked 10 miles, lots of fun. 

I Make Too Much Money

I have been planning a vacation to Disney World.

This has effectively been like taking my pay check each month and using it as a torch to light my way through the planning process.

But still I'm excited. The Mouse has a most indescribable allure, even to the even keeled such as myself. The magic of visiting the most magical place on earth has begun to fill my mind like a thick miasma, sending me into dreamy fits of passion nearly daily.

Almost needless to say, my family hates me. Every time that I try to speak, since there is a 80:20 chance that my next few words are going to be describing my trip planning, they scream out "LALALALALALALA" as they clap their hands over their ears and shake violently. I may be homeless any day now.

But at this point I've pretty much exhausted my research capabilities. You can only read the same five "Insider Tips" so many time before you realize you know more about Disney than most bloggers and you haven't even been there.

My top five free gifts/activities to look forward to,

1. Wilderness Explorer Guide- Animal Kingdom

   Yes, I'm and adult. I'm still going to Wilderness Explorer the crap out of Animal Kingdom.

2. Sorcerers of The Magic Kingdom

   No one is ever too old to fictitiously beat the crap out of some Disney villains.

3. Pirate Band in Adventureland

   Pirate was my second career choice, you now if the whole 'I'm and Engineer' thing didn't work out.

4. Agent/Spy Adventure in Epcot

   It's the freaking World Showcase, what else are you going to do?

5. Oh yeah, get one of those celebrate buttons

    Because nothing gets you treated better by a bunch of stranger than advertising that you've earned       the right to be here by volition of living another year.

So, eventually I will stop mentally packing my bags and actually pack my bags and my family might stop tuning me out whenever I speak. We'll see.