I think about that a lot

I remember taking breaths and feeling no sweet relief. Like all the oxygen had been pulled out of the room and no matter how much my lungs expanded and contacted I couldn't seem to ease the hunger in my chest. I remember the world spinning and going dark. I remember being in the back of the ambulance and wishing I was dead because it hurt so much to try and breath. I remember the feeling of my body betraying me.

I remember that,  and  I think about that a lot right now.